Thursday 1 March 2012

friendships

In the last few days I've had a few one sided friendship experiences that have frustrated the hell out of me. I won't go into detail as it would be just my luck that the people involved would read this and that wouldn't go down well. I'm not trying to make this a bitch fest however these last few days have got me thinking. I thought as we got older friendships got easier. Sure the number of friends you have dwindles for many reasons but the friends you have in latter years are true friends, ones you can count on. It's meant to be about quality not quantity right? And the number of facebook 'friends' you have doesn't count! You're meant to be able to call any of a handful of friends in a time of need, and know they will be there for you. Just like you'd be there for them. Its not always a need to be physically there, sometimes just a listening ear is all you need. I personally am a big fan of treating people how I want to be treated. I try to be honest, reliable, trust worthy and helpful. If this means we have the odd argument or discussion about differing opinions then so be it. Say what you need to say and move on, don't bring up things from the past in current disagreements and don't hold grudges. And I try to teach my kids the same things.

Friendships for kids are easy, they bond over toys, books, TV shows or food. Yesterday my son bonded with another little boy over cars... the simplicity of it all was truly heart warming to watch. Despite resulting in a 8 minute tantrum when it was time to leave said new friend. Friendships for us adults takes alot more work. It's a two way street, and when it becomes one way we have to choose whether to continue down the road or get out of the car. For now I'm continuing but the petrol in my tank is getting low, along with my patience and tolerance. Is it really hard to say to someone  'how are YOU?' and be genuinely interested in the response rather than witter on about yourself for ten mins straight? I think not.... My toddler often asks 'you ok mummy?', and if he can do it then so can you. Sometimes all you need is someone to ask if you're ok.

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